Who Am I?

Recently, going through the current phase of life I am in, I have often asked the question: who am I? what do I want out of life? what does success mean to me? Sometimes, asking these questions gives me the energy to explore and investigate. Other times, it paralyses me with fear and I spend the day biting my nails and not wanting to speak to anyone.

Our generation is fraught with pressures that our parents and grand parents before us didn’t have to deal with, or maybe I should say, their pressures were very different from ours. I was talking to my mum recently when she said, “at your age, I had two sons, a family to handle.” Her reality was incredibly different from mine. Today, I am stressing about the bullet points on my resume, the grad schools that will reject me, the relationship that hopefully will succeed enough to emotionally support me especially in a world where dating is ridiculous, and the accomplishments my friends seem to pile on their portfolios. The millennial generation is constantly pressured to doubt themselves, who they are and what they are worth.

For me more personally, existing in a world where hard and technical skills are still predominantly respected, I find it hard to see the worth in my work or my skills. I crack jokes with a best friend of mine saying that I affirm her soft skills and intelligence because in all honesty, its one of the few ways to affirm myself. As a doctor, an engineer, a computer scientist, its easier to say what you’re good at. When you’re a creative, your work is challenged more by the world because you have to prove twice as hard that you’re valuable and in turn, you become incredibly self critical. Or maybe I am just saying that to make myself feel better. Who knows?

What I do know at the end of the day is: My name is Dhvani, and I am good at being creative in ways that most times people can’t measure or justify. And sometimes, people don’t value those ways because they either think its easy to come by or it simply isn’t serious enough. And because of that, a lot of the time, I doubt myself and what I have to offer. But on the good days, I know I bring a lot to the table and that’s enough to keep me going. I hope that for anyone who resonates with this, its enough to keep them going too.

I’m just one millennial trying to figure out how to do it.

FullSizeRender-15FullSizeRender-14FullSizeRender-6FullSizeRender-4FullSizeRender-8FullSizeRender-11FullSizeRender-19FullSizeRender-13FullSizeRender-18FullSizeRender-2FullSizeRender-7

Dress – Marks and Spencer (find similar aesthetic here and here), Shoes – ASOS, Earrings – Made from wool by yours truly, Bag – Made from a Baublebar delivery package, Watch – Fitbit

If you aren’t already, make sure to follow me on Instagram, that’s where the creative in me comes out sometimes!

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Who Am I?

  1. I can totally relate. Feeling like what you are doing is never enough and sometimes feeling on top of the world. I would love to read an article by you about beauty standards placed on women and how pressured we feel trying to attain those elusive beauty levels.
    In the meantime, who are you? A creative with a magnificent power of words and way mature than most your age. A go-getter (i can tell by your posts). You are a woman destined for greatness.

    1. this is just about the best comment i have read and I keep re-reading it! I will actually write an article about that! Amen to go-getter boo, amen to that! kisses kisses from me to you

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s