Off The Hook

I have been in my 20s for about 4 years now and to be honest, i’m at one of those weird ages where I know I am an adult, I have to command attention like one, but I also want my mum to make me choker necklaces and tea because its sweeter and better when she does it. Nevertheless, I have grown quite a bit in the past 4 years and I have figured out some important lessons so far. I thought I’d mention them:

Allow yourself to feel: Growing up, I heard the phrase “you have to be strong!” a lot. To be honest, I was okay with it at first and then it got to a point where it pissed me off. You know why? because its okay to not be strong sometimes. It’s that simple. And with the amount of crap that we get on a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly basis, it is FINE AND OKAY to just not be strong sometimes and to sit in bed with ice cream and watch Netflix.

Your mind is your treasure: So invest in it. Whether you’re reading books, or googling every piece of information on movies you watch (a bestie is obsessed with this, seriously, it takes 4-5 hours to watch a movie with her) or looking for new recipes to cook, your mind is young and absorbent so feed it!

Your body is yours: As the feminist I am, from the conservative country I’m from, it took me a long time to get here and understand that my body is mine. But at the end of the day, it is. Yes, everyone thinks they have an opinion to it but frankly, if it’s not mine, you can keep it.

Be selfish now, not later: Now, as a Nigerian, I literally flinched as I wrote that. In my society, you’re supposed to care about everybody and what they want. This goes from your parents’ dream of your major to your brothers’ idea of what you as a young woman should be to your neighbors’ opinion on your clubbing outfit. But if you plan to be like me and have a family of yours in the future, you better take this chance here and now to be selfish because very soon, that won’t be an option.

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Dress: Twenty Six, Shoes – Tahari, Bag – Ethnic Heritage Center, Lagos, Dog – Random (I kid. I kid. That’s my baby, Elie)

 

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9 thoughts on “Off The Hook

  1. You look really beautiful. You were werrrrking that sunlight. Élie is the cutest pup ever!

    That last point about being selfish now… I am learning it! It goes against everything I have known and believed, but recently I realised that I was draining myself to please a lot of people.

    Victory is around the corner.

    1. aww thanks my love! honestly, that sunlight crowned me! And trust me, I learned to be selfish when I realized that i was getting exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically trying to please everyone. Victory will be yours! xx

  2. Everything you said, Dee, every-thing! The selfishness bit got to me too. It’s been a struggle you know, doing what’s right vs. doing what you want to do, for yourself. Being there for people is amazing but I also hit the point where I told myself I’ll allow some seconds of self-first every now and again. Thanks for these growing-up posts.

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