So I tend to be called the feminist among my friends and to be honest, I think every woman should be a feminist, though not every feminist needs to be a woman (men are invited).
I think that if you are a woman and you are not a feminist, then I would describe you in just one word: unaware. No offense to women out there who don’t deem themselves feminists. Like I said earlier: free world!Moving on, I wanted to rant about the rape cases that have been flashing across our media of recent, for instance, the gang rape in India that killed the 23 year old girl. My first and foremost point is that cutting the balls off of the men, even though a bit satisfactory, would not solve the problem. It will not do anything for us. The truth is, whether you like it or not, women in countries like India and all over the world are raped because they are considered inferior, existent for the pure pleasure of men, and valued for their virginity.I am going to go on and mention virginity and how it applies to my scattered thoughts.
BUT before I go on, I will make some of my beliefs about the world clear. My number one: Women are treated as inferior to men all over the world, both consciously and unconsciously. Great, its out there.For me, as a Nigerian-Indian Christian, I have always been brought up to understand the importance of preserving my virginity. As a diaspora independent African, I have discovered the double standards and ills of this culture of virginity.
I know that I speak for many when I say that losing your virginity in my culture is considered in many ways an abomination, a disgrace, and most importantly, a sin. I will not address the Christian aspect of this culture but the practice itself. Many girls have grown up with their mothers telling them that losing their virginity will cause their husbands to value them less, trust them less, and consider them wayward. First of all, no one goes telling men this by the way. Just girls, ladies, women. Like I said earlier, double standards. Girls are told to remain virgins and boys are told to be safe. Where will they get the girls they are going to be safe with? I know our mothers love us and do not mean to take anything away from us, but even they are so indoctrinated themselves that they do not see. Anyway, having been told these things from a young age, a woman grows up to see her value vested in her virginity. Thus, losing it most times equals losing herself. It makes her loose, wayward, etc. These ideas are the kind that men in places like India take advantage of. When the man rapes you, he knows that he is not just having sex with you and breaking your most private boundaries, but he knows he is devaluing you. And in that manner, you become inferior.
The moment we as women and men make our daughters and finally society understand that we do not invest in our daughters’ virginity but in them as people, the better off we will be!